I have empathy for those who have shared with me their negative teacher's lounge experiences as I have been there too. In my experience though, the teacher's lounge is not the only place that negativity rears its ugly head. It is like a disease and it mobilizes through many different areas of a school. Like my dad once said, "If you look for the negative, you are going to find it. If look for the positive though, you'll find that too." It is a matter of perspective, focus, and attitude.
I spend too many lunches alone and working. However, I do at the same time specifically seek out my positive colleagues - also eating with them and working in their classrooms over lunch, and I find those conversations to be full of vitality and passion for educating.
I also will go so far to say that there are categories of griping. Those that lead to a conversation about problem-solving and those that do not. Not all gripes are worthless conversation for those with too much time on their hands. Sometimes you need to bounce a frustration off of someone who can help you find a solution. That is healthy discussion and you can leave those conversations with a plan of action! When we are discussing our frustrations, it is usually because we are really trying to get to a kid and we haven't been able to do it yet. Most often, I get my best tools to try from those problem-solving colleagues because it ends up like a brainstorming session so we can try to "unlock" a kid.
Focus on the positive; you cannot afford to focus your time and energy on the negative people - you need that energy for your family, your students, and yourself.
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